I is for Invisible

Invisible - adjective unable to be seen.

Now you probably think I'm about to launch into a invisible illness rant, trust me I could, but this is actually about something else invisible. Us.

When you have a chronic illness you tend to get ignored, forgotten about and avoided. People are almost scared to ask you questions or talk to you, they don't want to 'set you off', as if we can't answer like normal people. I've found that my pain is often viewed as an inconvenience, as if I've purposefully chosen this moment, so people just tend not to ask because they don't want to hear the answer.

Well I'm tired of being invisible.

We're invisible to the government, our bosses, friends, family and the general public until its convenient for them for us to be seen. I promise that 99% of people with a chronic illness will NOT go on a 3hour lecture if you ask if they're 'alright' and acknowledging that they are hurt/upset/angry is not going to harm you but could make them feel better.

We are people and we deserve to be valued.

H is for Hope.

Hope -  noun a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen, a feeling of trust, want something to happen or be the case.

Hope is one of those buzz words people like to throw around, a little bit like 'love' or 'hate' but really it's a much stronger word than those. It's the same number of letters, same balance of vowels and consonants, same pronunciation rules but it means so much more. 

Hope can mean something simple, everyone hopes it will be sunny next weekend, men hope there football team will win and school kids hope they pass their exams but for some people, a minority I know, hope means the world. Hope means the possibility of carrying on, of fighting another day, maybe even of just making it through for a little bit longer. And that isn't something you can translate to someone who's never been there. It's an idea that doesn't communicate well to people, lucky people, who haven't been in a position where hope is the only thing you have. Hope is there when all else is gone; when pride is lost, confidence shattered and self motivation disappeared, its there to keep you going.

But it's also so easily lost. It can be stolen in seconds by a few choice words or a simple act by someone who probably doesn't even realise they've done it.

Hope is like a glass ladder. 

You only need to start off with one rung, each small step taking you that little bit higher, giving you a little bit more faith. You can add more rungs when you please and if you slip down one of two rungs that's okay because you can always climb back up but its fragile. It could withstand the big blows that knock you sideways because it's still there for you to climb back up but one little tap in the perfect spot can bring the whole thing crashing down so not only are you on the floor again but you don't have a ladder any more, it's much harder to rebuild a whole ladder from scratch than it is to climb back a few steps at a time.

So guard you're hope, hold it close to you and never forget how precious it is.