Unsuspecting role models.

I met a young woman in when I was admitted to hospital a few years ago, who through absolutely NO fault of her own now has to live with not one but TWO incredibly disabilitating, painful, emotionally draining, INVISIBLE illnesses and yet she has so much zest for life.

And she is my role model, even though she has no idea that she is.

This woman has Epilepsy and Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) which she got after being attacked whilst working as a nurse, there was nothing she could have done to stop this from happening.

I look at her life, at the way she has had to adapt practically every area  just to get by and I think that if she can do this then so can I. The way I see it, medically she is worse off than me yet she does so much more. Every week I see new pictures of her at charity events, at bake sales, helping friends, supporting other peoples causes...generally just living life and it makes me think...What did I do this week? How did I touch someone else's life this week?

Because even though I know that she struggles and even though I know she doesn't always feel at her best she still manages to touch so many lives, I know she has profoundly touched mine. And it makes me hope that one day someone will look to me like that and think of me the way I think of her...achieving so much through more adversity than most people see in their lives, every single day.

So to her I say this... Thank you for giving me a light at the end of the tunnel and for being the person I know will understand when I say I cant meet up for coffee or that I cant sleep. Thank you for being the person I can whinge to about doctors and therapists. And know that you won't fob me off because you've been there too.  Basically, thank you for just being you.

P.S

I actually mentioned to the young woman that she was my role model today and what she said amazed me

She told me that I had made her cry but that she had her own secret role model too, a friend who was dying of cancer but still made the effort to check that she was alright and happy. She told me that she feels guilty when she hasn't spoke to this friend in days and she gets a message saying  "hey, you okay?" because her friend is 'worse off than her'.

Yet my views haven't changed, she's still an amazing role model even though I now know she feels just like me. Some people can amaze me and make me feel incredibly guilty all at the same time. Its people like these that make us a better person.