Ready? Okay, this song has been a favourite for a little while and sits firmly at the top of my Sunday morning playlist, but today in the middle of stake conference the chorus was playing loud and clear in my mind. It was as if someone was literally playing the music as a backing track to the talk that was being given. Now lately I've not been very good at listening and acting upon promptings but this time I'm determined to act upon this very clear message. I've been doing too much holding on, so much of my life is beyond my control so I have a tendency to grasp whatever I can control with both hands, that's not necessarily a bad trait and is an integral part of my personality. Anyone who knows me will completely agree that I am stubborn and controlling, sorry everyone.
The problem comes when I take over the wheel. One of the speakers today told a story of a man he once knew called Mike, Mike was a long haul truck driver in America who drove back and forth across the country with a Book of Mormon in his pocket spreading the Gospel at every truck stop along the way. One day he was driving his truck in winter conditions, but he was an experienced driver so all should have been fine, business as usual. The truck hit black ice, there was nothing Mike could have done, and the truck immediately jack-knifed and began to skid at speed covering every lane of the road. It was a nightmarish situation, anyone coming down the road was also in danger and the chances of Mike surviving were slim, it was a truck drivers worst nightmare. Mike struggled to turn into the skid, he just couldn't get the truck to straighten out. He gave a quick, short but passionate prayer 'Heavenly Father, help me', a small voice told Mike to let go of the wheel. He couldn't, so again the voice told him ' trust me, let go of the wheel' yet Mike still couldn't fight his instincts to grip that wheel, again the voice said 'Mike, I love you, trust me and let go'. So he did, he dropped his hands to his sides and the truck straightened out.
How many of us are gripping that steering wheel, refusing to let go because letting go is terrifying? I definitely am.
Later Mike was able to pull over and again prayed, so grateful of what had happened and again he was answered in that still, small voice. He was told that this arrangement wasn't working out, his Heavenly Father was not happy with being Mike's passenger, He wanted to be in the drivers seat to teach and show Mike how to become more like the Saviour.
If we were spoken to that way, would we be able to let go? Could you move to the side and let the Lord lead your life? The thing is, we may not have been asked in the same way Mike was but I can almost guarantee that we have been asked. It was during this talk that the chorus of this song played in my mind:
'So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held'
It's at our lowest, when our trucks are skidding and our worlds are falling apart that we turn to Him for help, yet do we let ourselves be held? Do we stubbornly try to fit it in our our terms, in our way? Well it doesn't always have to be that way, we shouldn't try to control the way our Father in Heaven helps us, the atonement isn't on our terms after all. He didn't sacrifice his only begotten son for us to then try to make it fit our agenda, I'm sorry if that's news to you, that's not the way life works. It isn't our eternal plan, it's His and I especially could do with remembering that sometimes.
So I pledge to let go a little, to follow the promptings wherever they lead because I have faith that they will never lead me astray, I might not always get it right and I'm sure I will falter when those promptings come up against my awkward, stubborn, British personality but that doesn't give me any excuse to not try. Can you try?
'So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held'
-Casting Crowns, Just be held.
Video from YouTube (castingcrownsofficial)
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